MomReviews

It’s okay to be “good enough”

Mommy guilt. Extreme parenting. Anxious parenting. Fear that you aren’t “perfect”. Do any of these ring a bell with you? If so, you need to pick up a copy of “Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box” by Ann Dunnewold. As I read it, I kept shaking my head at the examples of parents who, among other things, started showing flashcards to their newborns so they could “increase their skill set”, or who spent $6000 on their five year old’s birthday party. Does having a baby mean that you cease to exist as a person, that you have to compete to be the “best” parent, that you have to do more and more and more to make your children happy? Dunnewold doesn’t think so, and either do I!

This book is jam-packed full of examples, tips and advice for parents who want to step back from extremely competitive parenting and allow themselves to realize that they are probably already doing a pretty good job. There is no such thing as the “perfect” parent, and there is also no such thing as the “perfect” child. Giving in to a child’s every demand because you don’t want them to be “angry” with you does not do them any favors, and it doesn’t make you happy, either. IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO!!

Repeat that if you need to, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to let your children see you as a human being with feelings, with flaws, who makes mistakes. And it’s also okay to let your children make their own mistakes. There’s an example in the book of a school who’s teachers stopped using red pen to correct papers because parents complained that red was too “harsh”. And don’t even get me started on schools that have banned games like tag at recess, because someone might get hurt. Oh no!

My favorite part of the book is “The Perfectly Good Mother Manifesto”. Every parent should have this hanging on their refrigerator where they can see it often:

1. Be yourself-not who others think you should be.
1a. Embrace that you are human, with unique gifts and flaws.
1b. Accept that you will make mistakes.
2. Take care of your personal needs.
3. Have fun.
4. Encourage personal responsibility for each family member-emotionally, physically-as much as age allows.
5. Choose actively.
5a. Let your values guide you.
6. Think rationally.

I know that I’ll be referring back to this book often, whenever I do start to feel guilty for not doing more for my children. I’m a good enough parent, and that is good enough for me. To read more reviews of this book, visit Parent Bloggers Network for the list of all participating bloggers.