Tips For Handling A Custody Battle With Finesse

The divorce rate in the United States is just slightly above 50%. That means that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce and many times, there are children involved. As sad and painful of a process divorce is for any family, the battle for custody can make things much worse.

As parents, we love our children and always want the absolute best for them and better, if we can swing it. Unfortunately, when the custody of our children comes into play, we often allow hurt and selfish thoughts to permeate any decision we make in the process. Here are a few ways you can make the situation a little easier to handle for everyone involved, from your custody lawyer, to your children, to yourself.

Keep Your Cool

Any divorce and custody battle can brings hurt feelings and broken hearts. These are not your child’s fault and they should not be made to bear the burden of your and your spouse’s problems. While the custody battle is in process, do not share with your child, not matter how old they are, the details of the divorce and custody proceedings.

This not only brings a great amount of stress upon them that they are not yet equipped to mentally or emotionally handle, but can create an image of the other parent that will impair your child’s relationship with that parent.

Also, as you drop off and pick up your child from visitation, make sure that your communications with the other parent are amiable and adult. First, remember you have to deal with him/her at least until your child is 18 years of age. Second, it’s a good thing to set an example, in front of your child, of how to talk to people you do not have a great deal of feeling for.

Take Your Time

Understandably, divorce and custody proceedings are something one does not want to drag out, but consider this. How many times have you heard a friend or family member state regrets in how they handled their case? Stating, “I wish I had done this,” or “If I had done that,” leaves room to learn from their mistakes.

Take your time. Make sure that every decision that is made on your child’s behalf is what is genuinely best for them. As hurtful as it may be to consider, the other parent may have the better set up. Compare school systems, crime rates in the area, and the over all good and bad habits each of you have.

Make sure to keep in mind where your child would be more comfortable. Your child’s friends are a huge asset in the journey of healing from a divorce. They need to be close. Consider family traditions on both sides and how visitation might allow your child the experience of both.

Hire Good Help

A lot of times, the kid with the bigger stick is the one who wins in the end. As ruthless as it might seem, it is a good idea to get a good lawyer who is trained in and dedicated to the subject of custody battles. Find someone who not only knows the law, but is aware that everything they do will impact you and your children for the rest of their lives.

Keeping your cool and taking your time simply won’t matter if your help does not see the point in backing you up in your decisions. At the same time, it is a good idea to keep an open mind. Your lawyer will usually have some ideas in mind that you have not thought of.

Custody battles are not enjoyable, by any means. However, they don’t have to be World War III. Refer to these tips often for encouragement in this chapter of your life.