A lot of people think that as a stepparent you’ll never have the same bond as a biological parent and their child. However, this isn’t true at all.
Although being a stepparent isn’t always the easiest road, and there can be a lot of pressure coming from all angles, especially from yourself, there is hope.
Having a close bond with your stepchild is entirely possible with enough perseverance and compassion. Here are some of the best tips for building a connection.
Take Your Time
Even though you may be excited to get over the challenging hurdles and make it through to the other side, it’s important to give everyone their space to take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you certainly can’t force a relationship overnight.
Considering the age of the child is important. The older they are will influence how easily they accept you into their lives as their new parental figure. It can be especially challenging if the other parent is threatened by you, so move slowly.
You have all the time in the world to get to a better place in your relationship. Don’t lose hope if things are challenging now. Some stepparents find themselves at odds with their stepchildren one minute and adopting them as adults the next. You never know what can happen so stay hopeful!
Being your authentic self is ok. If you feel a little nervous in the beginning, don’t overcompensate by trying to come across as the most enthusiastic stepparent in the world. It can come across as phony and set you back in progress with them.
Start small and let them take the lead. Wait patiently and allow them to initiate spending time together. Once they give you the signal that they are ready, then you should be ready to be engaged entirely.
Although families of divorce can often have challenging periods, it’s possible for everyone to come together for the good of the child. It’s beneficial to talk with the other parent as well as your partner to try to come to an understanding.
Communicating and being civil will be of great importance to the child in the middle of it all. Remember ,you’re the adults and they’re looking up to you for guidance.
Be Kind To Yourself
It can be painful to feel rejected by your stepchildren. It’s important to remember that it likely has nothing to do with you. Often children hurt by divorce are taking out their anger on you instead of the real source of their feelings.
So instead of assuming that it must be your fault and you’re doing everything wrong, consider that you may just need to give them some time to come around.